Things are getting serious. Looking back at all the dates and time you two have spent together, it seems like you can say that this is someone you could potentially have a family with. You’re used to having each other but you’re not sure if there’s something fundamentally different between you two that could be a dealbreaker.
Your train of thoughts starts taking you to places that you don’t know if you want to visit. There’s still quite a bit of uncertainty. You want to be sure about him being the one. There’re so many questions you could be asking about yourself and him.
If you’re struggling to determine whether or not he is the right one, here’re the questions you should be asking about yourself and about him to clear out some of the misty clouds in the air!
When do I want to settle down?
That’s a really important question to ask yourself. It would be awkward finding out that you want to have a family when you’re 30 while your boyfriend doesn’t want to have kids until he is 40 when you’re both the same age now.
Usually, couples casually talk about having a family and kids. It doesn’t mean it’s specifically targeted at them. Don’t feel that you shouldn’t talk about it because it might pressure your boyfriend. Just casually ask yourself and him this question to figure out if you see things eye to eye.
Am I ready to be committed for the rest of my life?
Are you? It’s not wrong to want to explore more. A lot of people enjoying dating and don’t want to settle down for just one person when they’re young. Do you feel that you’re still at that stage? Sometimes it’s not just about finding the right person, it’s also about timing.
Things are indeed starting to get serious, maybe both of you feel that this could be someone to marry, but, do you want to get married? It’s a tough question. Think about it first before you decide if you want to take things to the next chapter.
Is he really the right person or am I just lowering my needs just to feel satisfied?
Are you at this point in life where you just want to settle down so you’re okay with whoever decent? He might not be the guy of your dreams but it doesn’t matter because he is not bad and you want to settle down with someone. It’s perfectly natural to want to settle down at one point in life. But don’t lower your needs and wants just to feel satisfied.
Sit by the table one night with your lights on and think, is this truly the boyfriend you would’ve wanted? Are you giving up something just to settle down? Is it all worth it? Only you can tell whether or not this is worth it. You just need to have that rational discussion with yourself before fully committing.
Is there anything fundamentally different about us?
Remember, texting back with just emojis or not buying groceries isn’t something fundamental, these are all just habits. Don’t let him always get away with it just by saying ‘it’s just who I am’. Those are literally just habits. It’s not something fundamental. Something fundamental would be wanting to have kids or not and want to live in the city or countryside. Those are something fundamental and their views are unlikely to change.
A habit can be developed or changed, but a fundamental value can’t. If you two have something fundamentally different, then you can only ask yourself if you’re willing to live with it for the rest of your life because it’s quite unlikely for someone to change something so deep about them.
Knowing this relationship is going places and that he is someone you want to be with is magical. Not a lot of people can spend their lives with the one they truly wish to. Ask the questions you want to ask and get his answers.
If you don’t know what questions to ask, here we’ve provided you with quite a few! You are sure to find out more about yourself and him after asking all these questions! 🙂 🙂